MUST WATCH!! NO WORDS TO DESCRIBE!!! This video made me cry from my own personal experience.
Always be careful when you drive. You never know what could happen or if you'll be lucky enough to survive an accident. I'm lucky I'm alive, let alone be able to walk again. After a lot of time to reflect.. I'm just happy I'm alive, for me and my kids and family. I think a lot about the should haves and what ifs... but thank the lord I'm still here to hug my kids and my legs will heal.
Sometimes fear of being judged, and just plain guilt keep us from telling stories that need to be heard. I'm not afraid of being judged but do have a story, a story hard to tell and am praying right now for the strength to post and tell. Here it is.
On a thursday night in April, I decided to go out and meet my sister in Seattle for some drinks. I knew I wouldn't be able to drive back so I asked my brother to be my designated driver, and told him if anything should happen, because we all know it does we should stay out by my sister.
We had fun, went to a few different bars, and before I knew it... I don't even remember leaving the bar. I took off with my family to someones house I didn't know, and apparently later we were asked to leave, I don't remember leaving, and apparently my dd had joined in on the fun, I was too drunk too care or notice.
We headed back for the long drive home... surprisingly made it back close to home on the freeway, made it back about 5 miles from home, I don't remember any of it.
What I do remember is the scent of sudden impact, exploding airbags, and shattered glass and the pain and terror of being stuck. My brother shouting and trying to wake me up, asking if I could get out. I couldn't.
We had T-boned another car at an intersection at high speed, and the front end of my car was completely smashed. I ended up under the dash, my legs stuck. I tried pushing out, but absolutely could not move or push past the pain. EMT arrived and had to use the Jaws of life to pry me out. I only remember bits and pieces, but It's still nothing I would wish anyone to have to remember.
My story isn't the sad story though, don't feel bad for me, I'm lucky enough to be able to heal. The real story that makes me cry is the passenger in the other car.
A 17 year old boy, not much older than my own oldest son. A bright young man who should have had everything to look forward to... who would have graduated from high school this month. Who was only on the way to get his loving mother coffee before school early that friday morning. My car t-boned that car, and crushed the drivers side. He was rushed to the hospital where he died shortly later.
I wasn't driving, but I still feel the pain and guilt of the accident taking someones life, and what if I had made a better choice at the beginning of the night. I can't change a thing, and don't blame anyone as much as I blame bad choices. Still as a mother feel horrible and sad.
My parents called me in the hospital the same day, as i lay there, legs shattered and in a neck brace, uncomfortable and in pain. They prayed and asked if I knew they prayed for me, and all my siblings every night. And I cried. I thank the lord they prayed for me. And do have a lot of questions I still ask god and try to work out for myself. Why spare my life and take the life of someone so young. I look at my kids an see a reason why. I love them so much and know they wouldn't be able to handle losing their mother right now.
I was told to tell my story by a doctor who had a lot to say, that I needed to hear. About choices, life, and the ying and yang... about the dark trying to balance out the light. I don't know about all that, but I had a lot to think about, and had been thinking about life, and second chances. And definitely had been feeling a lot of darkness in my life before the accident. So what he did have to say made sense.
Always be careful in the choices you make, you never know what impact they may have later on. Always try to make positive choices. Make sure the person you ask to be your designated driver is someone you could entrust with your life... because that's what your doing the moment you decide to become intoxicated and lose your mind for a little bit. You're entrusting them with your life and possibly the lives of others. I'm lucky to still have my life and thank the lord he answers prayers. I thank my parents for loving me enough to pray for me everyday.
